animelover02

24 May 2012

010 so bad its funny, give it a try

it should tell you something when you see the name of a movie and thinkthere is no way this could be actually real, thats what i thought wheni found this when looking for zombie land, and when i came to check outthe IMDb page for it i saw it had an average of 2.3 stars. My firstreaction was "thats impossible, not even asylum movies have that low arating, nothing can be worse then an asylum movie" but as it turns outi was proved wrong. This movie has broken the barrier of my previousmovie scale and made a whole new level of bad at the bottom. to startit off the sheer amount of nudity in this movie and the poor way inwhich it was used was very tasteless and only interesting if you havenever seen a naked woman before. the acting( though calling whathappened here acting is insulting to even the worst of actors) seemedto have never been on camera before, it was embarrassingly easy to seethat the director had no clue what they were doing, but somehow healways seemed to find a way to get every woman in this movie out of hercloths at some point or another, and the story couldn't follow a singledirection if you gave it a map, directions, a compass, and put it onthe yellow brick road. At some points its downright insulting to anyonewho Christian or catholic in faith, and i do recommend that if you areeither to avoid this movie. The thing is, that even though this movieis bad, i found that it was so bad it broke right through the bottom ofbad and hit funny. as soon as i saw the villain of the movie i startedlaughing and couldn't stop and almost ended in tears, the absurdity ofevery scene compounded on one another, the bad acting made me laugheven more, and every bad thing came together to make a horror movieinto one of the funniest movies i have seen in a long long time. idon't even give this movie a 1/10, but i would recommend watching it tosee if you find it as entertaining as i did

nwosting2002

24 May 2012

Tongue In Cheek Look At Religion

First Of All, Yes, This Is A Low Budget Movie, The Special Effects ArePretty Bad And The Acting Was Lackluster To Say The Least. But InDefense Of The Movie I Will Say It Was Exactly What I Expected To See,Scantily Clad Women, Horrible Special Effects, Bad Acting etc.But On The Plus Side It Was Extremely Funny And (Gasp) SomewhatEducational. I Have Found That The Most Informed People In Regards ToReligion Are Those That Don't Necessarily Support ANY OrganizedReligion. When You Look Past The Flaws, Minor Ones In My Opinion AndTake The Movie For What It Is You Will Have A Great Time Watching TheFilm.This Movie Was Not Meant To Be Taken Seriously In Any Way Shape OrForm, It's Actually Poking Fun At The Movie Industry, Among SeveralOther Things Which Seems To Be Bill Zebub's Trademark.In Short I Would Like To Say That I Thoroughly Enjoyed The Movie AndWill Watch As Many Bill Zebub Films As I Possibly Can. My FavoriteScene/ Line In The Movie Involves Zombiechrist, His Arm And A CertainPart Of The Female Anatomy. The One Liners Both Characters Deliver WereFreakin Hilarious.

ablebravo

23 May 2012

Rotten on every level

Good grief! I don't even know where to start on this. ZOMBIECHRIST hasto be one of... no, strike the "one of" - this was the absolute worsemovie I have ever seen and believe me when I say I've seen a lot ofpoor efforts over the years. There was no continuity, no logical flowof time, no reason for what occurred in the film to occur. The camerawork was jerky and utterly amateurish, the acting (pardon me I shouldhave written "acting" because there really wasn't any) wascringe-worthy at best. It looked as if not a single person in the casthad ever been in front of a camera before. There was a great deal ofway whacked-out parallels drawn between early stories of Christianityand those of Rome, Greece and Paganism which didn't make any sensewhatsoever (unless you might be under the influence of some controlledsubstance far stronger than alcohol.) I will give Bill Zebub (yeah,that's the credited name - whatta laugh) points for getting a greatdeal of fairly attractive women to be naked for pretty much the entirefilm - even if they all did look like (a) hookers or (b) exoticdancers. All these women had some sort of tattoos on them. Not littlecute ones, either. These were huge honking things which covered fairlysubstantial portions of their anatomy. And speaking of anatomy, thewholly gratuitous nudity was... more like a biology lesson than a moviewith unnecessarily long and lingering shots of their breasts orcrotches for no better reason than the cameraman *could* film thisstuff. This was almost, but not quite, pornographic in detail... thisfilm is definitely very close to X rated for that fact alone. Now, I'mnot against seeing a pretty girl naked but I was actually bored after avery short time with seeing yet another naked girl run through thewoods or writhe around on the floor while some truly lame CGI (orsomething) fire (or something) swirled around them. Which brings me tothe Zombiechrist character it(him?)self. Feh! Stupid. Poorly done atbest. From the looks of it, Zebub took a medical school skeleton,covered it in dirty newspaper and red paint and operated it with onehand while working the camera with the other.Finally - the music. The film was heavily padded with quite a number ofdeath metal tracks played in their entirety while the camera showedsomeone running through the forest (as often as not, naked). Thesesequences did not a darn thing to move the story forward - mainlybecause there really wasn't a story TO move forward. (Even so, Iclicked the "spoiler" box more or less as a joke). For all intents andpurposes, the film looked like an over-long death metal video made by acouple of crack heads with a few bucks and a camera.Recommended? No, unless you've never seen a naked woman before.Scary? NOQuotable lines? NONEAnything to redeem this piece of scut from the bottom 10,000 worsefilms ever made? Yes, if only to show in a film school class as a primeexample of how not to make a movie. Otherwise, NOI rate it 6/100.

ABladeInTheDark2

22 May 2012

More Zebub goodness.

I decided to subject myself to another cinematic atrocity from BillZebub. I'm not sure why I'd do that, other than the curiosity ofwhether or not he can actually improve in his movie making, or get evenworse. The latter seems to be the case with the last two of his moviesI've seen, Forgive Me for Raping You, and now Zombiechrist.In Zombiechrist, Jesus is brought back as a zombie skeleton who goesaround assaulting naked women so he can regain his powers. Yes, bigsurprise, the women in a Bill Zebub movie are naked throughout thewhole movie. A couple of the assault scenes are actually funny. In oneof them, he makes a girl get on all fours, and stick her ass out so hecan dig out the communion wafer she ate earlier from her bowels. Iwon't really go into the story, because as usual, the movie is allabout getting women naked. Unless you're looking for some softcoreporn, or terrible z grade horror, stay away from this one. 2/10

22 May 2012

Beware! Savior At Large!...

From writer / director / producer / editor / Jesus-portray-er, Bill Zebub, comes ZOMBIE CHRIST. In this heart-warming fable, the druids have resurrected the zombified, skeletal remains of Jesus in order to bring in the new age. Of course, this requires wall-to-wall female (full frontal and beyond) nudity, clever biblical quips, long-winded theological discussions, slow-motion kung fu, romance, and a chocolate syrup-covered skeleton wearing a crown of thorns. Unfortunately, there's only enough material here for about 15-20 minutes, leaving over an hour of suicide-inducing dullness. Now, I love frolicking, tattooed nymphs as much as anyone alive, but even that gets old in a hurry! ZC is meant to be offensive / disgusting / funny. While certainly "offensive" to the religious zealot or barking clergyman, the rest of mankind won't much care about the blasphemous hi-jinx. The most "disgusting" parts are too outrageous to be taken seriously, leaving the anemic humour to carry this epic. If only this had been a short film...

21 May 2012

One of the Worst Movies Ever!!!

Wow, this movie was absolutely terrible. I felt like I was being punished by watching this. I couldn't even make it past 30 minutes. The first 7 minutes is just full frontal naked women dancing. Then you have a skeleton with the thorny crown Jesus wore on the cross stalking these naked women and sucking the life out of them. I'm a Christian and hate when people spoof Jesus. I would never ever under any circumstances recommend ZOMBIECHRIST!!!