Michael Johnson

22 May 2012

bewilderingly p poor....

Quite frankly I thought I was alone in having seen this appalling movie.Words almost fail me as to how truly dreadful it is. I left the cinemafuming with anger - having been robbed of two hours of my life.In some senses it is truly remarkable; it has absolutely no redeemingfeatures - whatsoever... incomprehensible plot, wooden acting, awfuldirection, dreadful script, baffling editing... it is difficult to knowwehre to stop....Often I would say, watch it and make up your own mind. But quite honestly,Iwouldn't wish this movie on anyone. It would be funny if it wasn't sobuttock-clenchingly awful.Now for its good points... Nope. Can't think of a single solitaryone.Now for the love of God, run like the wind if somone offers to show ityou.

22 May 2012

why are you looking at this page?

it could only be two reasons;1, you're here because you've seen a single, somewhat dog-eared, copy ofrancid alu in your local woolworth's for the last hundred years and you'rewondering if, yes, maybe you should buy it. how bad could itbe?2, secondly, you're here because you've seen it (probably on c4 the othernight) and, being so utterly bewildered by the following;a, it got released.b, actors read the script and signed up.c, someone, somewhere at a studio gave it the go ahead.d, (AND MAINLY) you were thrown by a plot that made so little sense, afilmso badly made and where none of the ideas (it's unjust to call thesepremises ideas really) made any sense or worked at all.ahem, so being so bewildered, you thought there was a deeper meaning,something you missed or didn't get that made it worthwhile. you didn't, itreally was that bad.

beyosen

21 May 2012

Really rancid movie

This movie try to be very cool but ends up being too boring.James Hawes who has written this garbage should look around for anotherjob.If you like the genre, rent the danish masterpiece "Pusher"instead.I feel a lot of remorse paying 40SEK in rental fee for the DVD, if you wanta tip: Don´t do rent it for the plot, rent it for the girls or even better,forget all about this movie.

filmfreak-5

20 May 2012

Well, this was definately strange!

Well, this was definately strange! I might have to watch this film againcause I'm pretty sure I missed something. It offered a lot of mild laughsalong the way, it's totally dark humoured, very absurd and suurealistic inmany ways...I'm still stunned as so what happenend, cause I'm sure I still see a lotofloose ends - either this film is totally horrible or a stroke ofgeniousity....I truly hope it is the last mentioned, otherwise it looksgleam for the people behind this flick..Pretty funny to see Rhys Ifans in this flick. I knew I had seen himbefore,but it wasn't until I looked him up at imdb that I noticed that he wasactually the only one lighting up "Notting Hill" with his brilliantperformance as Hugh Grants' roommate...?/10

Mr Ghostface

19 May 2012

This film is SO bad I had to write another review!

Just so that you fellow movie fans get the point about this film, I decidedto write another review. I missed a few things out lasttime...First, the script. Second, the acting. Third, Jesus Christ what were theythinking making a piece of garbage like this and then expecting us to enjoyit when there are no redeeming features whatsoever from beginning to endexcept when Joseph Fiennes finally gets blown away in a very unexcitingclimax!!!I can't believe I wasted my money on this when I could have given it to ahomeless person or a busker or SOMETHING!Are you getting the picture?

hinchliffe

19 May 2012

Rancid Cinema

This is the type of utter tripe that gives would-be film makers heartand despair in equal measures. Heart, in the fact that such a poorscript, such dreadful performance and such a flawed plot havebeen turned into a film. Despair that someone practically anyonewith a desire to make a film has a better screenplay that's notbeing made.The film is a shockingly bad attempt to cash in on the popularityrightfully enjoyed by Lock Stock and Snatch. Now we are all oldenough to appreciate the feeding frenzy that takes place aroundsuccess but for the love of god if you intend to dip your bread in thegravy at least be worthy. This turgid insult is without question anaberration that should never have seen the light of day. A filmwithout any and I mean any redeeming plus points.

Theo Robertson

17 May 2012

Its Rancid Alright

This is a film that had a lot to live down to . on the year of itsrelease legendary film critic Barry Norman considered it the worst filmof the year and I'd heard nothing but bad things about it especially aplot that was criticised for being too complicated To be honest the plot is something of a red herring and the filmsuffers even more when the word " plot " is used because as far as Ican see there is no plot as such . There's something involving Russiangangsters , a character called Pete Thompson who's trying to get hiswife Sarah pregnant , and an Irish bloke called Sean . How they all fitinto something called a " plot " I'm not sure . It's difficult toexplain the plots of Guy Ritchie films but if you watch any of hisfilms I'm sure we can all agree that they all posses one no matter howcomplicated they may seem on first viewing . Likewise a James Bond filmthough the plots are stretched out with action scenes . You will have aserious problem believing RANCID ALUMINIUM has any type of central plotthat can be cogently explained Taking a look at the cast list will ring enough warning bells as towhat sort of film you'll be watching . Sadie Frost has appeared in someof the worst British films made in the last 15 years and she's doingnothing to become inconsistent . Steven Berkoff gives acting a bad name( and he plays a character called Kant which sums up the wit of thismovie ) while one of the supporting characters is played by a TVpresenter presumably because no serious actress would be seen dead inthis The only good thing I can say about this movie is that it's utterlyforgettable . I saw it a few days ago and immediately after watching Iwas going to write a very long a critical review warning people whatthey are letting themselves in for by watching , but by now I've mainlyforgotten why . But this doesn't alter the fact that I rememberdisliking this piece of crap immensely

HandyBiteSize

16 May 2012

Well this was a first...

...the first film I had to walk out on. And it was the cast andcrewpre-screening (Not that I was involved, I hasten to add). I made itthroughthe first hour, so I reckon I'm just qualified to comment, but that was mylimit.Like other comments here, how did this get through any kind of QA. Anaccumulation of the very worst in dialogue, the epitome of wooden acting,awful casting, all wrapped together without a plot.Tara Fitzgerald's casting was bizarre, almost comic. She possesses theworstRussian accent in movie history.As I left the screening, the director and producers were drinking in a baroutside the cinema. They obviously couldn't sit through it againeither.

Sim-9

16 May 2012

If you see this film, take a long toilet break.

There have been some low moments in my life, when I have been bewildered anddepressed. Sitting through Rancid Aluminium was one of these.The warning signs were there. No premiere (even the stars didn't want toattend) and no reviews in magazines. The only reason I sat through the filmwas in the hope that I might catch up on some sleep.Nothing in the film was explained. The narration was idiotic. I cheered atone point when the lead of the film appeared to have been shot, then to mygrowing despair, it was revealed that he hadn't really been shot dampeningmy joy. I sincerely hope all involved in the film are hanged for thisatrocity. There were some positive aspects, mainly unintentional moments of humour.For example, the scene in which the main character, for some unknown reasonfeels the need to relieve himself manually in a toilet cubicle, whiletelling the person in the next cubicle to put his fingers in his ears.My words cannot explain the anger I feel, so I shall conclude thus.Rancid Aluminium: for sadists, wastrels, and regressives only who want totorture themselves.

15 May 2012

Excellent offbeat black humoured tale.

In the vein of the current British film trend for hard hitting realism withplenty of black humour thrown in this is up there alongside "Lock Stock..."and its like. Involving the Russian mafia puts a new twist on the ganglandtheme and Rhys Ifans gives a thoroughly convincing performance as theunwitting hero of the tale. The supporting cast are all familiar faces toeveryone who is up to date with the current stable of cool, competent talentgracing the screens of British TV and particular mention must be made of TVpresenter Danni Behr's top supporting role. A must see without anydoubt.

Dodger-9

12 May 2012

Theres no aluminium here but it is rancid

Where do you begin with a movie as bad as this?Do you mention the cast of unlikeable heroes? The over-the-top acting? Thedreadful script?No. You just say that anyone who pays money to see a film as poor as thisneeds their head looking at. I know I do.I respect those poor guys who saw it with little or no advance word frommags like Empire (usually a bad sign if a preview copy isn't available tothe quality movie mags).However, cinemas really should start thinking about giving out refunds ifthe customer isn't happy with the finished product.I went three days after it opened with two other mates. The only otherperson in the cinema was one bloke on his own.And that was on cheap night.Either the ad campaign had failed dismally or word had spread through mostof the country of just what a stinker this is.Not since the days of The Avengers (1998) have I felt so short changedsincewatching a movie. If a mate comes round with this on video in a few monthsmake sure he pays your electricity bill while watchingit.Tara Fitzgerald deserves an award for not cracking up - or walking off theset; Keith Allen retains some dignity amid the cinematic carnage; BarryFoster should have been arrested on the set for his performance, RhysIfansdoes his career no favours after the success of Notting Hill and only DaniBehr is halfway likeable as a busty secretary.Mind you, considering she used to be in The Word, any viewers'expectationsof her acting ability had to be pretty low to begin with.The production values aren't bad considering the obviously limited budgetbut that script is atrocious. If you want to hear a bunch of unlikeablecharacters say "Fak!" for a couple of hours then this should be right upyour street.Otherwise, bargepoles required.

dogsdildos

11 May 2012

Those who should know, KNOW!

All these armchair critics dont know nothing, this is a brilliant film ofgangsterism and wicked performances from Rhys, Sadie, Steve, Tara, Jo,Tony,Keith, Dani, Bazzer, Josh and Olegaro et al - strong, no-holds-barredrelentless in yer face direction from the man Edward Thomas(V) and a greatproduction from the whole Friction Factory. I must stress I have no realrelation to this independent production company or any of the charactersinvolved, I'm just a lover of good British films and this is one of thebest! Nice one boys, good one James, keep it up Jo, big up Ed,WICKED!

Gordon-11

11 May 2012

Avoid this chaotic mess

This film is about a man's life going wrong. His business is failing,and he cannot impregnate his wife despite multiple attempts.The plot is complete chaos. It simply does not make sense. In fact,nothing in the film makes sense. The story is so poorly told that Isimply could not understand it. It is a shame, because the sets andcostumes are done well, and are visually stimulating enough. The shotsare well composed throughout the film. However, these redeemingfeatures still cannot make up for the bad plot and poor story telling.I am amazed by the big names who agreed to star in this film. It issuch a waste of their talents. This film is very bad. Avoid it!!

seger-1

10 May 2012

twisted and funny

Being from an Eastern-European mafia-infested country, and Slavonic aswell, I completely sympathized with the main character and was, at thesame time, reminded of the nineties in Serbia. BUt, this is not what Ilike about this film. It is so over the top, a nice twisted littlestory of an ordinary guy put in extraordinary circumstances, and veryfar away from any Hollywood-type gangster movie. It is wrong to watchthis film only for Joseph Fiennes, although he is O.K. One should keepone's mind open and indulge in it because it is modern, gritty andneeds a bit of intellectual involvement, if it isn't too much to askfrom an average cinema goer.

lutewhine

08 May 2012

I demand an hour and a half of my life back

First of all, I should've known better than to go to see a film that wasbeing flyposted around London with a recommendation from The Daily Staremblazoned at the top of it. Second of all, the only reason I went at allwas because my girlfriend was in a post-Shakespeare In Love Joseph Fiennesphase.And oh dear god it's bad. It doesn't help that it makes absolutely nosense,mainly due to some of the most jarring cuts I've ever seen outside a GCSEfilm project. One scene in particular threw me entirely when Rhys Ifans'character was in London one minute, being vaguely threatened by someclichedheavy, but once I'd glanced away for a second (probably checking my watch)Ilooked up to find that he was suddenly in Russia, being sneered at by somedifferent cliched heavies. Elsewhere the editing is seriously misguided -several times the film lingers on pointless scenes featuring female flesh,while seemingly integral plot points are rushed through, patched togetherunsatisfactorily by a hammy voiceover.Both Fiennes and Ifans - actors I rate - are quite terrible, but words canonly hint at how appalling Steven Berkoff is in this film. He pretty muchonly says one word (several times) - "Beeeeeeeezneeeeeeesss", and everytimehe did I couldn't help but think that he was gradually making his villaininRambo 3 seem like an acting tour de force.I've never once walked out on a film before. I'm clearly too stubborn - wewere the only two people that DIDN'T walk out at the screening weattended.Comfortably the worst film I have ever paid so endure.

Sammy_Sam_Sam

08 May 2012

Waste of time

Words really can't describe how bad this film is. I thought Zandaleewas bad, but at least that had some nice shots and the occasional goodchin stroking moment here and there to stop you from nodding off. Thisis just laughable! Terrible script, poor direction, awful acting andyou know what? I can't think of a single thing to recommend about itother than the fact that it isn't too long. If you want 100 minutesworth of entertainment, book yourself in at the dentist and have someroot canal work - far more enjoyable and much better value for money(assuming that you need it!). Incidentally, I need to type 10 lines oftext to complete this review - PLEASE DO NOT BUY THIS MOVIE. IT ISTERRIBLE!

bakovljev

08 May 2012

Extraordinarilly......

Must confess to having seen a few howlers in my time, but this one is upthere with the worst of them. Plot troubling to follow. Sex and violencethrown in to disorient and distract from the really poorly put togetherfilm.I can only imagine that the cast will look back on the end product andwishit to gather dust on a shelf not to be disturbed for a generation or two.Sadly, in my case, I have the DVD. It will sit on the shelf and look at mefrom time to time.

NewCartesian

08 May 2012

without any imagination

We know from other movies that the actors are good but they cannot savethe movie. A waste of time.The premise was not too bad.But one workable idea (interaction between real bussinessmen and Russianmafia) is not followed by an intelligent script

Nik Webster

04 May 2012

Review of Rancid Aluminium

I felt Rancid Aluminium was a complete waste of two hours, the plot linewasthin and confusing, the prestigious line up of players had some terribledialogue and extremely questionable accents.The camera work was somewhat experimental in places and although it couldbeseen what the director was trying to convey, it just made it even moredifficult to watch.One of the most annoying aspects of Rancid Aluminium is the over use ofnarration throughout the film almost like the entire plot is beingdictatedto the audience.The best performances weren't anything to do with acting. In factprobablythe most convincing performance came from Dani Behr of all people,althoughadmittedly does play the stereotypical office secretary.DO NOT under any circumstance go and see this movie unless you need areasonto catch up on some lost sleep, there are certainly better ways to spendyour hard earned cash.

Ed Scammell

04 May 2012

15 Seconds of Fame

I have given this film an elevated rating of 2 stars as I personallyappear in minutes 42 and 43 of the film....the road side bar scene inRussia. In this scene the director of the movie offered me the immortalline - "50 Dollars..you Drink and Talk", but I felt that my Polishcounterpart could speak in a more convincing Russian accent than Icould, so I declined to take this speaking part on. I was slightlystarstruck as this was my first Film experience....and who knows...these lines could have ended up there with lines such as "I'll be Back"and "Quite Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give a Damn". Had I spoken that oneline then my name would appear in the credits of Rancid Aluminium as'Heavy 1' instead of the name of Ryszard Janikowski. As time goes on, I am counting myself lucky that my name is in no wayconnected to this film.Even though I spent a whole day on the set, in South Wales hot-spotBarry Island, no one could tell me what the actual storyline was. Thecaterers and the wardrobe lady all concurred that it appeared to have alot of swearing and nudity in it..... things could certainly have beenworse if I'd ended up naked in this most dreadful of films....Still.....On the positive side....I got chatting to Rhys Ifans duringone break. I had no idea who he was, as "Notting Hill" was yet to bereleased, and not an inkling that he might be Welsh. Made variousinappropriate comments about what an awful pit Barry Island had becomesince my childhood visits there in the 70s and 80s. It was only whenKeith Allen showed up that I realised I was in a qualityproduction........