Joseph

23 May 2012

It is What it Is

I'm 16, so my sense of humor may differ from yours, but I really liked the film's spoofy toungue-in-cheek feel. It is a B movie, and does an A+ job at being a B movie, and that is why it is good. Pirahna, the original, was a classic, this new verion is too in it's own way, and does a good job at not being a straight up remake of Joe Dante's 1978 movie. It stands on it's own as both a comedy and a horror movie. To all people who took this seriously and didn't like it: the reason you didn't like it is because you took it seriously. Go see this with an open mind. It is a violent film, and there is pretty much nudity throughout, so if you don't like these types of movies, then don't go see this. But all in all it does a good job at being what it is.

fisherbee1-1

23 May 2012

Too much blood and TA, no suspense or good action.

To start, I must say that some of the acting was good, as I expected itwould be. Christopher Lloyd was, as always, fantastic, and ElisabethShue, Ving Rhames, and Jerry O'Connell were also good. The kids (Proulxand Ryan) were awesome. The performances by young McQueen and Szohrwere far better than the script warranted. These actors, and someothers, saved what could have been an abysmal failure. Most of the restof the acting was mediocre at best.The visuals could have been far better. Beautiful blue water, clearskies, and so forth, but instead we had to watch a virtual parade oftopless coeds. Now, I am sure some young guys won't mind this, but whatabout the rest of us? I wanted a creature feature, not a soft porn filmwith some critters tossed in for interest. Some of what occurred had noplace in a regular theater at all.The story and direction started off fairly well, but soon deteriorated.Loved the Dreyfuss scene (and his character's choice in music), and thebasic idea of how the fish got into the lake in the first place.However, beyond the basics, that was virtually ignored for the rest ofthe movie, which was spent on gratuitous nudity, gore, and overuse ofthe 3-D technology. I had hoped, since the 80's, we would have outgrownthat sort of thing. Plus, many of the scenes looked far too familiar toany seasoned viewer of this sort of movie. Time that could have beenspent building suspense was wasted on cheap thrills.Overall, this could have been a LOT better. Sadly, the creators of thismovie chose titillation over substance. When the movie relies too muchon that, there is a problem. The worst part is that some viewers seemto like this, and even expect it. Such lowered standards mean we allget less quality in the movies. Give me Jaws, or Lake Placid, or theoriginal Piranha, any day over this. As a long-time fan of creaturefeatures, I found this one a huge disappointment. First time in awhileI was strongly tempted to demand my money back.

Mark R. Leeper

23 May 2012

Insultingly the filmmakers thought that modern audiences want lots of nudity and lots of gore, but would not appreciate decent writing or interesting characters.

Matthew Pejkovic

22 May 2012

Just because a film knows its trash, doesn't mean it should be forgiven of being so.

20 May 2012

Hilarious, campy goodness

Got to say Pirrana 3D was an entertaining flick. It's safe to say thatanyone who is going to see this movie knows what to expect. Boobs,blood, and some hilariously stupid people all in a troubling situation.The acting is terrible and the score is down right ridiculous, but whatdo you expect. Just don't take Mom to see this movie unless she has agreat sense of humor. This movie made me laugh out loud at times andwas a great movie to watch with a group of friends. It's great to seemovies like this being made, but it's far from a great film and I'm notsure if it really helps the horror movie industry. But sit back and enjoy Pirrana 3D... when it goes straight to netflix.- VideoGameHollywood.com

nycrules

20 May 2012

Absolutely Horrendously Lame

This was so predictably boring and lame from the shoddy embarrassinglybad CGI and 3D to a bunch of horrible actors and I mean no one in thecast was even remotely capable of redeeming this total waste of timenot to mention film. The director does not show even a microscopicspeck of talent in terms of this completely nonsensical B-movie slop.It is B-movie for bad and not the least bit fun to watch but oh thereis the Girls Gone Wild crowd who will flock to see the T&A and hornyteenage boys stupid enough to pay to see this third rate poor excusefor entertainment. I cannot honestly find any reason to spend one centon this totally godawful film unfortunately. Save your money becauseyou will be let down.

18 May 2012

It is what it is....

This is the type of horror that is simply meant to be funny and nothing more. Course in the case of Piranha its sometimes funny in its bloody, brutal horror moments and pretty much dead weight when it comes to jokes and or the drama it tries to stir up. Theirs a major underwater quake that causes a rift in the lake's floor and some piranhas make their way into Lake Victoria in Arizona just in time for the towns annual Spring Break bash, which offers plenty of young late teen/early 20 something victims for the packs of man and woman eating fish. Sherriff Julie Foster (Elizabeth Shue, "Hollow Man") learns about these piranhas and wants to close the lake down. Of course there's her son Jake (Steven R. McQueen, "Everwood") on a boat with a wannabe filmaker (Jerry O'Connell, "Sliders") and there's a girl Kelly (Jessica Szohr, "Gossip Girl") that Jake likes and when his younger brother and sister are stranded on an island we now have another subplot to lengthen the film. There's plenty of gore, all of it looks goofy especially once the piranhas make their way to the spring break hoopla then the goofiness and jokes hit a fever pitch. The problem with "Piranha" is too much of it is played straight by the actors and by the screen writers, though Christopher Lloyd "Back To The Future") does a nice goofy turn as a marine biologist of sorts. Also nice to see Ving Rhames ("Dawn of the Dead") as a cop, he's usually worth a few laughs in these types of films. This film is worth viewing and better with a bunch of friends cracking jokes to drown out the dialogue and fill in the boring gaps between the violence. *1/2 out of 4 stars.

dv909

18 May 2012

In your face horror filmmaking

Wow! Loved this flick. Saw it Friday night in NYC in a full theater andeverybody had a blast. Like every positive review that I've read, Piranha makes no excuses foritself. It is tongue in cheek and fully aware of it's audience and whatthey want. This was absolutely old school horror with a contemporarysoundtrack. The gore was outrageous and over the top. The scene withthe underwater nymphs was stunningly gorgeous. I loved it's fearlessdelivery of the beauty of the female figure.The cgi fish were fine, but I really can't stand 3D. It's only a matterof time before the gimmick is retired again ( I guess until Cameronmakes a sequel to the dreadful Suckatar).Go Piranha! Instant classic.

timharries

16 May 2012

Piranha 3D (and thank goodness)

The first thing that struck me about this film, being a 3D "event" andall, was how effectively the medium was used. Let's get this right,this is a technology that started out in screamers such as "House ofWax" way back in the 1950s and was variously prodded at down the yearsin schlock like Jaws 3D and Friday the 13th 3D. Its very cinematicroots are in daft, B movie horror.That last title in particular is a great reference point for Piranha,sharing as it does the same puerile desire to locate the viewer at theheart of the splatter. Like Friday the 13th 3D, which blended theinnocuous, (a yo yo spun out toward the viewer) with the gross, (an axesplitting a head in two) director Alexadre Aja also starts simple,tracking a beer bottle as it floats gradually down to the bottom of alake, before taking things a stage further, ticking boxes markedprojectile vomit, gouged eyeballs and in a first for 3D cinema, thefloating appendage of Jerry O'Connell - first inspected, then spat outby one disgusted fishy specimen. (Incidently, the fish themselvesshould not be overlooked, their first appearance "proper" causing areal jump)OK, so far so good. Aja was also quick to state that this was "nothing like" Joe Dante'soriginal. Really? I could have sworn I saw a couple of similarities:1. They both contain piranhas. Kind of an obvious point to make I know.One could argue that the original had more of a socio-political voicein stating that the fish were originally bred as a bio weapon againstthe Vietcong, but despite their beefed up CG status, it's still fish vsflesh. In the remake, they are simply "released", after seismicactivity opens up their domain.(In a sense this is reminiscent of thoseold monster movies of the 1950s, where man's noisy plodding on theearth's surface prompts some gigantic "thing" to stir into action. Ajadecides to steer clear of such agendas - clearly we're too far gone asa species anyhow) The lake splits open, the fish swim out. We are guiltfree, apparently. However, the ensuing gusto with which the fishswallow down all those awful, nubile, partying teens is certainly upfor debate and a much riper cause for discussing the director's owntake on proceedings. 2. Both films feature a "highlight" scenemidpoint, wherein the creatures are released upon their unsuspectingprey. (Aja simply does what any horror director would do here and ampsup the blood and teeth. It certainly adds ferocity to the attacks, butthe essential premise remains the same) 3. Both films contain astoryline thread wherein a child (or children in the remake) is/are inperil and need to be rescued by one of the main players. (putting themin great danger in the process) 4. Dante included scream queen BarbaraSteele in a cameo in his film. Aja was lucky enough to have not one,but two such walk ons. In Richard Dreyfuss (whistling the "Show me theWay" tune, sipping "Amity" beer and directly ripping whole lines ofdialogue from that "other" fish movie) and Christopher Lloyd - his therather more nuanced performance, as the town's fish expert. ("When thispiranha hits 88 mph you're gonna see some serious s*it!"...no, wouldn'treally work)Those were just the obvious examples. The entire arc of the story mapsout in a similar way in both films, comprising of: intro kill, piranhasreleased, race to warn those in danger, the "bloodbath" scene, endrescue of others, marginal destruction of fish and then the final "butone survived" credit closer.So these films really do seem cut from a very similar cloth. Which begsthe question - why isn't Aja's version more of a revolutionary boundfrom the original? In short, it doesn't need to be. What is achievedhere is an effective use of 3D technology, wrapped around the templateof the original film. Yes, there have been some changes, but these arelittle more than superficial.As if to prove his statement of intent, Aja seems positively obsessedwith adhering to the film's triangulate of boobs/gore/3D. Such strictadherence meaning issues such as characterization are kept to anabsolute minimum. Which explains why Elizabeth Shue's lakeside Sheriffsuddenly leaps into action mode, bounding from one upturned boat to thenext - a gung ho switcheroo only shadowed by the scientist before herwho turns full "Arnie" at the blink of an eye; firing up a jet skiwhilst wielding a shotgun in his other hand to despatch a few of thetoothy terrors. Ving Rhames' character is treated with a similarrecklessness, though in this case after motor boating a few of thecreatures, he's given up to be sunk ungraciously below the waves. As the film gives way to a fairly pedestrian climax, (and aparticularly cynical declaration of a sequel) you're left hoping forsomething more, that what you've basically sat through is a lot of "tand a" getting minced and a few fish getting gutted in return. As a 3Devent movie though, this is one of the the most entertaining I've seenand ideal summer trash entertainment.

James Kendrick

16 May 2012

funny and gross and tasteless as it is, it frequently feels like too much, as if Aja is swinging for the fences of cult moviedom at every moment

MovieProductions

11 May 2012

Exactly what youd expect it to be

*** out of (****)Piranha 3D is not a pleasant surprise, aside from quality, in any way,shape, or form. You get exactly what you bargained for. Boobs, blood,3D. It can't get any simpler than that. Throw in a hysterical Dreyfusscameo, a few other A-listers, and you have a good time on your hands.This is one over-the-top vehicle so proceed with caution. A devouredpenis. Two fully nude women acting as mermaids. 80,000 gallons ofblood. Dreyfuss reprising his famous tune. If all this doesn't piqueyour interest or quench your thirst, then you should stay away asdisappointment will inevitably pursue. While this a highly flawedpicture that aims at the lowest common denominator at nearly everyaccount, those are exactly it's intentions and it's the right kind ofbad. The entertaining, over-the-top-kind-of-fun way. It's that time again. Those hormonal spring breakers are out theredancing every ounce of their body off, drinking liquor like water, andmaking the crudest remarks toward women. Well, the fun stops there.After a tremor breaks open in Lake Victoria, it releases hundreds ofPiranha, killing tons of young adults. Meanwhile, Jake Forester is onbaby sitting duty because he has to look after his younger sister andbrother while his mother is out there kicking some teenage butt as theSheriff. Forester decides to ditch his tedious task and hops on theinfamous "Wild Wild Girls" boat with his scantily clad crew.Unfortunately, the Piranha are in on them too.First off, we all know the performances in Piranha don't fit thephrases or words "heart- warming", "Oscar-worthy", and "authentic". Andit clearly shows. However, the performances aren't abysmal either.Likewise, they're actually decent. Dreyfuss is his usual hip self, Shuekicks some behind, Rhames is one cool guy, Derrick is the jerk you loveto hate, and Jake is the typical outcast. Also, the script isn't halfbad. The movie has a nice dose of humor without it becomingself-parody, the jokes pack a punch, the situations are prettyrealistic, and the characters are decently written. Furthermore, thedirection is gnarly. The pace is nearly break-neck, the movie is nicelyedited, and the movie knows what it is.Now, the reason why everyone is lined up: Gratuitous blood, nudity, and3D. And honestly, those aforementioned factors don't disappoint. Notonly do they not disappoint, but at times, they can becomeoverly-excessive. For nudity, you never once see an "A" or "B" cup, soperverted guys, don't cry. For the gorehounds, like myself, this movieis probably the bloodiest of them all, and 3D junkies, things areflying out at you like there's no tomorrow and the depth is great.Overall, Piranha 3D is just fun popcorn shlock. Take it or leave it.How can you possibly get disappointed when you know what to expectexactly going in? Granted, I didn't expect so much skin considering theads made it out to be a pure-Piranha action extravaganza, but I couldsee past that and I know it's one of the movie's main selling points.Also, some commented on the horribly artificial CGI fish and I thought,as far as CGI goes, it wasn't too bad. We don't have a "Transformers"on our hands, but we don't have a cheesy late-night Sci- Fy channelfilm either. All in all, I like this movie. There's not a whole bunchof surprises and this isn't the best on the market, but shoot, for allthe serious dramas trying to outdo another in quality, it's refreshingto see one that doesn't try so hard and has fun with what its doing.On a side note: I viewed Piranha 3D with my HD 3D setup and maybe itwas only a theatrical problem, but the 3D I saw was great. The colorswere never darkened, and they actually popped, there was a great senseof depth, and the gimmicks were solid. Fun facts: This movie used 80,000 gallons of blood, which means it'sthe bloodiest movie in the world. Richard Dreyfuss stated that he didthis movie just for money. The movie was delayed theatrically fourtimes before it made its debut. This film wasn't screened for criticsyet holds a current 75% Certified Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and anot-so-bad 53 on Metacritic.

Connor Ryan

11 May 2012

Great Movie

This Movie was exactly what I expected to be, an overly gory remake andthats what it turns out to be from scenes of a para-gliders getting thelower half of their body eaten to a man getting his head smashed with aboat. However this movie IS NOT for children just because you thinkthey will be able to take the violence their is a lot of nudity, longscenes of toplessness and the traditional spring break wildness onewould come to expect from a spring break movie.their is enough shock tokeep the movie interesting throughout and the few inconsistencies areeasily tolerated for the overall feel of the cheese movies of old. I strongly recommend this movie for anyone over the age of seventeen.

aafirules

06 May 2012

Everything it promises to be...and more

Let's face it - no one going in to watch Piranha 3-D is expecting astoic masterpiece filled with carefully woven moments. Going by thepreviews, every single person at the midnight screening had comelooking for some key elements - blood, gore, violent deaths, skin,corny humor, and a lake-full of maneating fish. I must say, Piranha 3-Ddelivered on all these fronts! A lot of 'creature' movies often lose the viewer during the 'lullbefore the storm' section of the film - this is where Piranha 3-D keepsits male viewers amply occupied with acres of gratuitous nudity. Theteen romance bit is a little corny, but hey - after all its juststarters for the maneating main course.And what a main course it is! Though the fish seem quite CG and the 3-Ddefinitely seems to be the afterthought that it is, there is about 9-10mins of absolute mayhem in the middle of the movie which is almostunsurpassed in the violent-deaths-per-minute history of creatureflicks. Even if you saw the 9 minute teaser, this is still worth themovie ticket (and combined with Kelly Brook, this ticket is a steal!)All in all, a no-holds barred (and I really mean it - wonder how it gotaway with an R and not NC-17) fun film. If gore and severed limbs andpeople make you pukish, make sure you don't stuff yourself before going- you don't want to subject the people in front of you to a very 3-Dhurl!

05 May 2012

Jake....they ate my penis

When the summer of 2010 started, I never thought "Piranha 3D is going to be awesome!". Hell I was looking forward to the Last Airbender being a pleasant surprise and a big hit with critics....lol. Well we all know how that turned out. Piranha 3D though is surprisingly well made and fun despite not being too scary. It's a bit slow but once it gets going, it's both hilarious and very gruesome. So many people get ripped apart after awhile that it's impossible to keep up with the kill count. Piranha 3D works because it doesn't try to be anything more than a B-Movie. The directors of this years summer movies probably aimed to make a good movie, yet Piranha 3D is better than them when it didn't even try to be a good movie.

kevin_crighton

03 May 2012

A thoroughly enjoyable movie.

Piranha 3-D is a film that knows it's nothing more than an exploitationfilm, and lives up to (or down to) being that. It's full of nudity,including an underwater sequence that has to be seen to be believed,and a lot of blood and gore. But you are enjoying yourself watching ityou simply don't care. Alexandre Aja, has with the writers, updated the movie, thrown in somenice cameo appearances, and superb Jaws homage and just had fun withit. The cast, lead by Elisabeth Shue, give solid performances withspecial mention to Jerry O'Connell as a sleazy producer.But the movie stands or falls on the gore and it doesn't disappoint.Although some attacks are CGI, the make-up effects on wounds and bodiesis brilliant.As for the 3-D, frankly it is used to better effect here than it was inAvatar. I still think it is a gimmick but it is used very well here.Perhaps horror type movies are where film-makers might find the bestuse for 3-D in future.It's not a movie that people will consider one of the best of the year,but from it's start till the final scene, Piranha 3-D is one of themost entertaining movies of the year.

Julie Rigg

03 May 2012

Many new 3D films aren't designed for the medium, but Piranha 3D is ideal: an exploitation movie with lashings of blood, bouncing bare breasts, and masticated body parts being thrown around, all fake as hell and often funny.

red_identity

02 May 2012

Gore, Gore, and more Gore! Campy fun at the highest degree!

I finally saw Piranha. I remember wanting to see it when it came out,and never had the chance to. I thought maybe it being in 2D wouldlessen the effect, but I don't know how fun it was in 3-D, but Idefinitely had a blast with it!What I love about this film is that it's really not 'stupid'. When Isay that I mean it as a compliment. I have seen many enjoyable filmsthat are also 'bad' in a way that the filmmakers really have no ideahow to create a solid entry into the horror genre. Yes, this film isall about the gore, tits, and bloody violence, but don't be fooled, thefilmmakers know exactly what they are doing. I guess that is whysometimes films of this sort tend to come out wrong- here, it'sentirely successful. I am not saying that it's a plot-driven film, butthe filmmakers know exactly what type of film they are making and theyembrace it. To me, that is anything BUT stupid. Yeah, gore and titsdon't make for great filmmaking, but that doesn't mean that this typeof film cannot still be well-made, because this is. There are somecampy and hilarious scenes (one that involves an underwater fish fightover a penis), some well-shot scenes (the underwater lesbian dance) andthere are also some really gory and dramatic scenes that hit me in thehighest possible enjoyment sense. I know what I wanted to see, and thefilm gave it to me! I do think that maybe the fish should have turned crazy earlier in thefilm, that way we have even more of the incredibly nasty gore. And Imean the gore is nasty, so if you are squeamish I wouldn't recommendit. Obviously many people ARE going to label this film as 'stupid', butto me it is exactly what I wanted and it is something to really beholdwhen a film of this camp can come out and still be THIS crazy and fun!Cannot wait for the sequel!

Jesse Hassenger

02 May 2012

delivers truly imaginative levels of gore and mayhem

BA_Harrison

29 April 2012

Aja puts the fun back into horror.

After five years of humourless 'torture porn' nonsense and 'gritty'remakes of 70s/80s exploitation classics, it seems to me that manyhorror fans have forgotten how to have a good time: Piranha 3D, averitable smörgåsbord of tongue-in-cheek, in-your-face, gory 3Ddelights and gratuitous nudity, has garnered some pretty disparagingcomments from viewers who have berated the film for being 'trashy','cheesy' and 'dumb'. Helloooo people... surely that's the point!!!Alexandre Aja's re-imagining of Joe Dante's low budget Jaws cash-in isa deliberate return to the good old days when all you needed to enjoyyourself was a lake full of man-eating piranha, loads of graphic gore,and a few hundred nubile teens, all potential fish food for the fangedcritters from the deep; if people can't see why that is fun, then Itruly feel sorry for them. As far as I am concerned, one of life'sgreatest pleasures is to be able to switch off the brain from time totime and just revel in an excess of boobs and blood, in this case allpresented with the advantage of an extra dimension. Call me easy toplease, but I had a blast.From the amusing opening, which sees Richard Dreyfuss parodying hisfamous role from killer fish classic Jaws, to the predictable finalscare immediately before the closing credits, Piranha is hugelyentertaining, low-brow, popcorn horror. Whether it be Eli Roth hostinga wet tee-shirt competition before having his head crushed, JessicaSzohr puking in 3D, Kelly Brook performing a prolonged naked underwaterballet with adult star Riley Steele (given the size of the lungs onthose girls, staying down for so long must've been easy), ElisabethShue in uniform, Ving Rhames being a total bad-ass once again, theendless splattery effects of Nicotero and Berger, Jerry O'Connell assleazy porn producer Derrick Jones, or Christopher Lloyd hamming it upas fish expert Mr. Goodman, I loved every single trashy, cheesy, dumbminute of this film.

Chris Bumbray

29 April 2012

Exactly the kind of cheese I love!