Vastarien202

24 May 2012

So, so bad!

I had the misfortune of getting dragged to see this, and while it didleave an impression, it's a bad one. The two main issues I had with itare these: 1) Lazy sound editing! Note to studios, LOUD is not BETTER!The music and effects noises were at near-painful levels at all times,while the actors spent a good 75 percent of screen-time eitherwhispering or seemingly mumbling. The next problem I had with it isthat the film was almost too dark to see anything when the mostimportant things were going on. The only thing I actually liked in thiswaste of celluloid was the old lady near the beginning....SHE was verywell done, and almost scary. That said, just find the clip with her init on Youtube, the rest isn't even worth renting.

Michael Phillips

24 May 2012

[A] mediocre picture.

ngrey651

20 May 2012

A 90-Odd Minute Waste Of A Birthday

Lemme explain why I'm giving the film this review...I've seen a lot of films. A lot of films. A LOT of films. And most havealways had some big moral that could be applied to everyday life, some"lesson" that people could take away from watching said film. A few ofthese have been religious or philosophy-themed movies.For example. I have seen "Passion of the Christ". Mel Gibson's anAnti-Semite and that PISSES me off, there, I said it. Got it out of theway. Back to the movie. I was...well...it kinda made me cry. I mean,you REALLY feel for Jesus in that film. It wasn't all torture either,you could see plenty of instances within the film where he's portrayedlike an average, everyday nice guy who just carves wood for aliving...which makes his death even more tragic. I've seen "LeftBehind", the first movie. It drew me in, I admit, in casting believablecharacters in an unbelievable situation...and DAMN, Gordon Currie madea CREEPY Antichrist. I've even witnessed the "Book of Eli", which hasplaced an important emphasis on keeping faith and understanding theimportance of religion. Also, it hammered in a bit of a big point: evenin a world with literally NO Christianity, there are always gonna beassholes who cause suffering.Then I saw "Legion" today, adding to my "collected Religious movieexperience". What can I say, I would be able to view it for free. Ithought "Why not? Surely it can't hurt, the trailers seeminteresting"...Boy, was I dumb. Boy, was that movie dumb. And I mean really, REALLYfull of itself dumb.Hey "Legion"! THIS is what I think of you! YOU'RE STUPID!!! Yes, it hadsome very decent characterization in it, very nice action scenes andthe idea of being stuck in an enclosed place while trying to make surethe main character gives birth successfully turns the film into a"Breakfast Club from Hell" kind of deal that was sort of, in a cosmicsense, funny.But the plot? PHBBT. B-movie. Not even, really. Apparently God hasutterly lost all faith in Humanity and sends angels to (I couldn't makethis up if I tried) possess the bodies of "the weak-hearted", whichranges from grannies to LAPD to little kids. And why? To exterminatehumanity like we're cockroaches and they're divine pest control.Though the ultimate goal...and once again, I remind you I couldn't makethis up if I tried...is to kill an unborn child that belongs to themain character, Charlie. Why? He's going to be the Messiah and God'ssick of second chances.First of all, isn't this breaking his covenant with humanity? You'dthink, if nothing else, an almighty God would be the one to keep hispromises. "I won't ever try to wipe you out like I did with the floodever again". Furthermore, possessing little kids and grannies to kill aBABY? God's acting an awful lot like Satan in this film. Oh, and let'snot forget one poor, unfortunate schmuck is(rememberI'mnotmakingthisup) NAILED UPSIDE DOWN TO A CROSS, COVEREDWITH PUSSY BOILS WHICH EVENTUALLY EXPLODE. Yes, explode. They areacid-filled boils too.The word for today is "Macabre". Can you say that, kids? It means"Really, reeeeaaaaally sick", or "shockingly repellent". This is whatthe premise of the movie is. Yeah, it's okay to WIPE OUT AN ENTIRESPECIES BY USING THE MOST UNDERHANDED METHODS POSSIBLE. You can do thatbecause you're God.You gotta be...GAAAAH!!!Jewish people believe that even GOD ALMIGHTY is to be held accountableto the force of JUSTICE...and clearly, these are the actions of neithera just god...nor a loving god. The movie casts God as being quick tochange his mind, willing to do heinous acts and refusing to give whatis supposed to be his only son a comeback...and only Michael thearchangel has any faith in humanity, and it's BECAUSE of Michael thatGod ultimately changes his mind. (Though he shouldn't have even beenput in that position where he had to have his mind freakin' changed!)There is only one really good thing about this movie. The end comeswith a flashback voice-over. "I asked my mother why God would stoploving his children. "I don't know" she told me, wrapping her armsaround me. "I guess he just got tired of the bullshit"." That'sactually pretty freakin' badass right there. The rest?...nah. Theaction scenes and the few instances of good character dialog can't savethis movie's horrible, pathetic plot, which really, REALLY reaches andfalls totally short, even by it's own standards. It's not even reallyhumorous, save for the Ice Cream Man bit. That was sorta funny...tillhis jaw stretched.In fact, I can sum up the whole movie like that. It was sorta good. Butthen it stretched out after the first forty minutes and startedsucking. I'd say 'rent it', but alas, it's barely out of theaters.If you think you can stomach the ridiculous plot, you may want to checkit out. I'd flip a coin over it...but hey, that's just me.

beefjerkyftw

19 May 2012

Misleading Trailer showed all the good parts...

Even though the story didn't seem to be biblical at all, I wasexpecting to see that awesome swarm of angels have some epic battle,but no. To my disappointment, all but ONE of the angels turns out tostay in angel form, while ALL the other angels possess all thetownsfolk and turn them into some hills-have-eyes-like mutants and theygo down in like 2 shots to the chest... 2 shots to the chest? Are youserious? Even zombies need at least a head shot to go down. And for theangel that stayed in angel-form (Gabriel), he could fly, and hadbullet-proof wings, that's basically all his powers.. He carried afancy mace (that didn't seem to have any power, just a fancy bludgeon)and needed to wear a bullet-proof chest-piece because apparently 2shots to the chest seems to take down just about any angel. I thoughtthe angel that came to save them would have some powers but all he didwas bust out some sub-machine guns and just shot everything. He calledhimself an former general of God's army, but I'm sure that any USmarine would do much better than him. He held 2 sub-machine guns at thewaist and went full auto, not worry the least bit about wasting ammo..I had a lot of high hopes for this movie but was really disappointed.I the best part of the movie was the short footage of the swarm ofangels and the "angel fight" (which was disappointing still, butbasically the best part of the movie). Feel free to watch the movie forthe sake of watching, but don't expect too much.

springtownspears

18 May 2012

Apocalypse In The Desert

Despite some thrilling though somewhat isolated special effects, somenotable one-liners, ("Perhaps he (God) got tired of all the bullshit",repeated for emphasis both at the movie's beginning and end,as if itwere the movie's keystone, "It's not going to matter anymore") andconsiderable star power (Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany), this movielacks the panache to be called great or even good. Perhaps it's thechoppy pacing or editing, or the uninteresting cinematography. At anyrate it never really grabbed me, though I would recommend it,provisionally, and there are several moments when it works well. Idon't often find myself in agreement with critics, but in this case, Imight. It's not as good as "Zombieland" or "The Crazies" though it isblacker than both and some might disagree. Dennis Quaid often findshimself involved in trashy B-movies ("The Horsemen","Pandorum") andthis may be another case. His role, in fact, is interesting. He playsthe owner of a diner in the remote desert whose bimbo pregnantdaughter, who works as a waitress at the diner , lives out back in atrailer. She later turns out to be the movie's New Madonna. A travelingcouple and their teenage daughter, who stop by the diner, are in thewrong place at the wrong time. A swarm of insects is the first sign ofimpending doom. Paul Bettany as an avenging angel could also be cast inClive Barker's Book of Blood. He makes one grand entrance out of a ringof fire, and another out of a car. As the movie progresses it turnsinto a zombie-fest, as some movies are wont to do. The most interestingcharacter, in the latter portions, is an avenging child zombie. Theavenging and protecting angels then engage in an Epic Battle which is,somehow, less than Epic. The movie ends on a positive (?) note but bythat point I did not really care.

Benjamin Holmes

18 May 2012

210??????????? what are you nut cases on about?!?!?

This is one of the best films I have ever seen with one speech made byPaul Bettany making one of the best speeches in any film I have everheard!! Look at the facts - £26m Budget and so far has grossed over£70m! YES 2/10... THATS RIGHT!!! As if a film that's made nearly £50mprofit deserves 2/10.Fantastic acting, great storey line, quite scary at times especiallywith the old lady near the beginning. This film is fantastic and hope they make another one.Well done to the director and writers.Benjamin Holmes

David Dang

16 May 2012

I cant even call this a piece of sh--!

It's horrible. Me and a couple of friends decided to see this moviebecause of the trailer. It basically showed the close to good parts ofthe movies. And if I'd rate the trailer and movie of which one isbetter, I'd pick the trailer. The cast is fine, not all A list, mostlyB or C. But who cares. We'd wanted to see a good B List Movie. And thisdidn't even make the expectations. It was set on one setting. Angels,Legions, and Demons. The script was horrible. It was boring, and it wasover-dramatic. I'm 12 years old, and I know this review doesn't soundprofessional, but hey, bear with me, when a 12 year old kid sees aboring movie, they know it's a boring movie ESPECIALLY if it's anaction movie with monsters and angels, who doesn't want to see it. Idon't know much about the cast, but it's fine.It's a rip off. The first hour was good, and then after that it wasboring. There was shooting and guns and just the regular stuff. PaulBettany was iight. The plot basically shows of a woman who is pregnant,and her baby is believed to be the new 'Jesus' and somehow, all theangels in heaven wants to kill that baby. So they're stranded in themiddle of a desert in a restaurant and car stop. Now, it's kind ofcheesy because they have these monsters, deformed people, invading theplace. So they all decided to protect the baby and blah blah, if youwant to see a horrible movie, there it is.

marekmcmanus

15 May 2012

So much wasted potential

This movie had so much going for it, and just isn't the sum of itsparts. You have Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany on the actors side,decent special effects and a pretty cool premise going for it, so whyis this movie bad?Here might follow some spoilers, but I will never go into detail. Firstof all, all the dialogs in this movie are awful. They seem to betrimmed to be cool one liners with a punchline, that might seem cool ina movie quotes section but suck if the whole movie plays out like this.Specially if the whole movie is crowded with those cardboard thincharacters.The story puts all the emphasis on its own weaknesses. This moviebasically plays like a survival horror movie, a bunch of people isstuck in a diner and fights of an army of zombies, err angels. Soeveryone knows what's gonna happen. The "actors" are basically there tobe cannon fodder. In this movie, you got a real interesting spin on thewhole Christian mythology. Heaven, angels, archangels, all that stuff.Instead of putting the emphasis on this mythology, like why did godlose faith in humanity, what's going on in heaven and all thatpotentially interesting stuff is put aside, to tell the backgroundstories of the cannon fodder. Those stories are so stereotype andcliché-driven, it's just painful to watch and completely takes out thepace of the movie. No one cares about these people, they're justboring. In the end I wished god's army would have been a little faster.Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany probably needed the money, there is noother explanation for their involvement in this movie. The other actorsseemed appropriate B-list actors.To make things worse, during the action scenes the editing reallysucks. There are only few action scenes, but those completely lack anychoreography. So instead of choreographing the fights, they resolved tojumpy editing. Flashing one shot after the other, which usually ends ina confusing mess. Even worse, there are real holes in the fightingsequences, at some point I thought they might have pulled a shot ortwo, to get a PG-13 rating, but hey this movie is rated R. I'm not sureif the editing really sucked, or if they were just holding back a"Director's Cut" for the DVD release.This movie might be worth a rental, if you watch it with a bunch offriends and beer in steady supply, but definitely not for cinemas.

David Edwards

13 May 2012

Despite the religious trappings, Legion is an old fashioned shoot-'em-up with satisfying gunfights, a pacey plot and barely a dull moment. Dumb fun.

13 May 2012

What He Needed

I was never a fan of horror movies, but my husband has convinced me to watch a few, and I've really come to like certain ones. I now add LEGION to that special list. LEGION is a different kind of horror flick. Not much horror, not much gore, plenty of action, and a surprising amount of goodness and light. The general plot is that God has lost hope in mankind and has sent a plague of angels to wipe it out. But one of his archangels turns against him and comes to Earth to protect humanity. Archangel Michael still truly loves mankind, and will lay down his live to save us all. Despite this description, LEGION is not irreverent and not overly religious. But, I am not going to dwell on this aspect of LEGION, because the movie doesn't dwell on it. I knew nothing about LEGION before we started, but as I watched it, it sure felt like a Stephen King novel: a group of strangers, stranded at an isolated diner, must fight off hordes of evil. And even though it is NOT based on a King novel, I was just as completely absorbed by LEGION's story. I took a look at what the critics on Rotten Tomatoes had to say about LEGION, and they hated it. Loathed might be a better word. And I think most of the comments are justified, although some are just snobby. Is this a perfect movie? No. Are there clichés and genre cross-overs? Yes. Did I enjoy watching it? ABSOLUTELY. LEGION is definitely one of those films where the whole is much more than the sum of its parts.

doctorsmoothlove

12 May 2012

Is it Heaven or Hell and doesnt it matter?

How infallible is God? It is generally understood that God can make noerrors no commit any sins. But, can God misjudge a situation? In spiteof having all the wisdom in the universe, can God still be short-sided?Such questions came to me the entire time I was watching Legion. Itisn't an innovative movie, and much like Daybreakers, which came out atthe same time earlier this year, it relies entirely on its plotsummary. Its main idea is so poorly developed and so few of thequestions it proposes are answered that it achieves a strange subtly inits critique of Abrahamic (Christian) theology.The world may be ending (again), but not as you haven't read in thefamily Bible. A child is born to a random woman that will "savehumanity" from some vague threat. We have apparently angered God, whohas conveniently decided to destroy us. An army of angels possessweak-minded people and attack a restaurant where the little savior issleeping. Some remaining good-hearted humans, aided by newly fallenangel Michael ward off attacks until God sends arch-angels to finishthe job. Michael left heaven because he has "faith" in humanity. Fromthis point in the movie we observe: God, the entity that can controlthe essence of reality, cannot manage to overcome a few human beings. Idon't consider this a plot-hole because I am an atheist, and evenassuming God does exist, how am I able to judge power I cannotexperience. As Legion is a fantasy within a fantasy, it can commit anumber of contrivances because no one has the ability to refute themunless the film is to be considered legitimate scholarship, which itmost certainly isn't. The movie does recreate the several atrocitiesagainst humanity, commissioned by the Almighty, as recorded in the OldTestament.After a little while, Michael is killed by another angel and the baby'sparents are all that is left. Michael suddenly reappears in magicalgilded armour and wards off his former killer. He has given God "whatHe needs". The attacks end. This perpetual vagueness, which ismaintained superbly from start to finish, again presents severalscenarios. What is the child going to do for humanity? Is he going tolead us into a post-God world in which we handle our own affairs? Is hethe Antichrist or the new Christ? Is Michael actually Satan in disguise(he has black wings on the movie poster)? Will Michael become a newSatan? My guess is the child's "saving of humanity" is labeled as suchfrom God's perspective. The weak-minded people have now died, and onlya few actualized people are left. The baby may have been God's plot tosee if any humans were worthy of being saved, even though he shouldalready know that. As Jesus took the last Earthly holiday, Michael tookit this time. When he was able to help God realize that there werepeople worthy of the Kingdom, he returned. Whatever the reason, this isthe only theological debate I've ever mustered with myself over azombie movie.Recommended

SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain

11 May 2012

Legion (2009)

In a diner in the middle of nowhere, a group of misfits get togetherand end up having to fight some kind of evil. Only, this "evil" is abunch of angels.I was entertained for every single second of Legion. Itseems to know what it's doing, even if it's views on faith and religioncome across as juvenile at times. It has plenty of memorablemonsters/sequences, from the cursing granny, to Gabriel's awesomebulletproof wings. It's a B-Movie, and one that is comfortable with howmuch it can achieve. Some things are left unexplained, and itconstantly feels like it is trying to set up a franchise that may neverarrive. Still, if angels and guns are a couple of words that get youexcited, this is some enjoyable escapism.

08 May 2012

Paul Bettany is the only think that saves this movie from zero stars

The movie was below mediocre. You could pretty much fast forward the whole movie and just watch Paul Bettany's scenes and you will have a decent 20 minute flick. Bettany excels at everything he does. The rest of the cast and the plot were totally forgettable. The plot between Michael the archangel (Bettany), Gabriel the archangel and God, could have been explored way, way deeper and make for a more interesting movie. Instead we are treated to forgettable B movie firefights, cliche scenes between a mother and her rebellious teenage daughter, a guy in love with a slutty chick whose life is another cliche of bad choices and your typical and predictable scene where a guy says a cheesy dirty harry wannabe line, lights something on fire and blows himself up along with some baddies. Bettany's performance and how seriously he takes his work in every single scene as short or as menial as they might be, is the only thing that saves this movie from zero stars. This movie reminded me a lot of the movie DOGMA. The plot in both is almost identical. (After humanity has finally exhausted divine patience with its behavior, a couple of angels have as a mission to clean house in the name of god). The only difference being, DOGMA was a good movie, it was funny and smart while this movie is simply lame.

lettherightonein2009

08 May 2012

Entertaining but it aint no Avatar!

Though it is no Avatar, Legion has some good aspects to it that you mayenjoy. The action is great, the characters are believable and theacting was spot on to the situation. An example of a believablecharacter would certainly be the Archangel Micheal, the Protector OfMan, who still has faith in the human race even though God has lostHis. Though I hate to agree with the critics there is one aspect of themovie I have to agree with them on and that is the story line. Whatsignificance does the child have to save humanity and if he is somesort of Messiah or prophet why would God want to destroy him? Oh well,maybe they'll make a sequel that explains it all in the end, and maybewill be able to see more of Mister Micheal being all bad ass.

Brad Miska

04 May 2012

When all is said and done, Legion is all talk and no "do", a prude film with some seriously wasted potential. It's boring, slow-paced and takes itself way too goddamn seriously.

Nigel Floyd

03 May 2012

Celestial tosh of less than Biblical proportions.

ChristaPurcell

02 May 2012

Why have this gotten such poor ratings? It was Unique and refreshing!

When i read the reviews and hear, decided not to listen to the criticsbut watch it for myself anyway. This movie actually has A very goodunique story line.I can honestly say I am glad that I listened tomyself!I just watched it twice..which is rare for me. It is a bit cheesy withthe possessed people and all, the special effects are great, DennisQuaid is, as always, a wonder. The angels are very real and there aresome good innovations, as special effects go,you won't be disappointed. For me it seems like this is a 90 minute (or so) reader's digestversion of the 5 year TV series Supernatural with dealing with theApocalypse and good and bad angels.PS: The Angel was hot, like Castiel on Supernatural too =) eye candy isalways great in a good flick LOL

02 May 2012

Legion

I really enjoyed this movie. It had a great morale to the storyline. I enjoyed the special effects, not cheesy like some. There was a few corny one liners but I guess that happens when you're stuck in a diner in the middle of nowhere with a fallen angel that is fighting demons from Hell.

Philip Martin

02 May 2012

It's up to the Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) to save the human race - or at least the denizens of a desert diner - after a disappointed God loses his temper and sets off the Apocalypse.

01 May 2012

A plot with so many holes

This review is from: Legion (Amazon Instant Video) This movie was watchable, but not very entertaining. Why did angels need to posses people when Micheal and Gabriel were clearly corporeal in the movie? Since when does God ever change His mind? What did the baby have to do with anything? They were all after the baby, yet Michael said that God was exterminating the human race. He said the baby was the last hope, yet the baby played really no part at all in the end-game. This movie didn't seam like a good what-if plot at all because it wasn't well thought out or even well written. With that cast, the writer and director could have made a block buster movie, but instead, the writer chose to release nonsense.