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4
Genres are FantasyDramaSci Produced in 2007, USA
Available Quality: Hi Def, iPod, Hi Def, Hi Def
Rating: 4 out of 10 (496 votes)
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480x272 | 284 MiB |
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852x480 | 585 MiB |
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1920x1080 | 6708 MiB |
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1280x720 | 4471 MiB |
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| Actors | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Ben Cross | Marina Sirtis | Raicho Vasilev | Harry Anichkin |
| Atanas Srebrev | Chris Bruno | Assen Blatechki | |
| Directors | |||
| Nick Lyon | |||
Storyline
Plot Summary:
King Higlack of the Gauths entrusts prince Finn and a fire ball weapon to his champion, slayer Beowulf. They lead twelve men on a mission to help king Hrothgar of the Danes, whose once glorious realm is terrorized by undefeated the Biblical monster Grendel. In fact the task is even harder, as Hrothgar kept gruesome secrets.
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glen-88
24 May 2012
QA with the Writer!
I'm an associate of Ron Fernandez and after viewing some of theenlightening comments made I thought I'd have a quick Q&A with thewriter of "Grendel". The following is a transcript: G: Hi Ron.R: Hi Glen, It's great to be here.G: So Ron, how do you feel about the movie as a whole? R: Overall I think it came out great(he says smiling) considering theresources and timetable involved in these films. I think SciFi Channeland UFO films did a super job of translating it to the screen. NickLyon, who directed it and is now doing Species 4, brought great life tothe characters, and I particularly enjoyed watching Ben Cross coax thedrama out of his scenes. Chariots of Fire to Grendel... Hmmm...G: Cool. Yeah I enjoyed watching it with you over many beers at ourfavorite pub.R: Maybe the beers helped.(both laughing) G: What did inspire you to manhandle this epic poem?R: When I was hired by the production company I realized the dauntingtask of adapting one of the greatest stories in western culture. Toughchoices had to be made in order to make this epic tale fit theparameters of a fun Saturday night SciFi Channel flick, and I thinkthose choices paid off. For example, I decided to add a love storywhich would frame the tale for modern audiences. The crossbow gun wasnot my creation, by the way, but it happens to be cheap and easy toblow things up in Bulgaria.G: I think the Rambo 2000 crossbow gun was actually pretty damn cool.But Im glad you mentioned it, because a lot of people out there don'tunderstand the process of storytelling within the constraints of aproducer and bottom line run production. Damn those wacky producers.R: The challenge is delivering a quality story to viewers at home. Ithink our film stacks up well if not better than some of the otherSciFi pictures I've seen, but the power of the original Beowulfnarrative of course helped us a lot. If you haven't read it in a whileI recommend you do. I had to read it when I was a Freshman in highschool and I didn't get it. But going back I was astounded by thebeauty of the language and the heroic character of Beowulf and theothers.G: Some of the user comments here indicated that there were somefactual mistakes made (i.e. Grendel's mother not being foughtunderwater, the townspeople being sacrificed etc.) How do you respondto this? R: We saw the original text as a launching point for therecontextualization of a classic. As I said tough choices had to bemade in terms of story and the reality of budgeting. The climatic scenein the poem, where Beowulf confronts Grendel's mother underwater was inthe first draft but you know it couldn't be done in the time alloted.As to the second part of your question, believe it or not, the story ofchildren being sacrificed to appease the angry monster is in theoriginal poem. But we chose to emphasize it.G: Do you see SciFi taking on more literary or epic narratives oradaptations? And what new projects can we expect to see from you in thefuture? R: I hope that SciFi continues to take risks by re-envisioning more ofthe classic tales of the past. Right now I'm writing another film forthem, this one set in the present and currently entitled "The Monster".It's a cross between American Werewolf in London meets Excalibur. Itshould be a hoot.G: Always a pleasure Ron.R: Thanks, Glen.
OC47150
23 May 2012
Did anyone read the poem?
I had to read Beowulf several times in high school and college forEnglish lit classes. I'm gong to find my old books and see how far offthe movie was from the poem.Just to get through the movie (I taped it) I started doing somethingelse. Rewinded a scene or two. The acting was so-so. I kept thinking, okay, Ben Cross has found steadywork over the years, but steady, quality work?Like someone previously posted, the sets were the highlight. Don't knowif the sets actually existed or were in a studio. Need to check thatout.
Rydragon13
22 May 2012
A fair movie
While I haven't fully read Beowulf yet, I will be within the comingmonths, and I felt that this movie would give me a taste of the story.If you're looking for comments related to how the movie stacks up andcompares to the actual story, you may wish to just wait for somebodyelse's comment.All in all, I thought this was an adequate movie. It combined decentamounts of action, character building, and fantasy. The movie had itsboring parts, like almost any other movie (Except Crank, I suppose...),as well as its high points.**SPOILER** One of these high points, as I would call it, is the final battle withGrendel. Not so much the slaying of the beast, but the anticipationleading up to the fight... You know it's coming, and you knowsomeone/something is going to get killed... Probably Grendel... But youstill have the anticipation growing as you eagerly await what happensnext. I suppose that may be different if you're familiar with the storyalready, but for me it was one of the more attention-grabbing scenes inthe movie.It started off on a pretty good note as well. Too many movies thesedays are starting off very plain, and very boring; often with heavymusic and flashy scenes to catch your eye. Personally, I prefer a movieto delve right into the story and action. Grendel does just this, asBeowulf enters a cave and slays a beast almost effortlessly. Thisserves two purposes, really... It gets the viewer interested in whatelse is to come, and it shows that Beowulf is no push-over when itcomes to slaying creatures.Though, much like I said before, this movie does get boring at points,and most of the key characters become very predictable as the moviegoes on. From the moment you see Finn you know he's going to gethimself in trouble as the story progresses. You know Ingrid is going tobe a total ditz that gets herself into trouble as well... And you mostcertainly can decipher that Unferth is going to be a prick, as well asa fool.**END SPOILER** All in all, if you're looking for a decent movie to pass the time, andpossibly watch just for a rather unique movie, you probably won't bedisappointed with Grendel. That said, Grendel is unique in its ownright, since it gets away from the run-of-the-mill fantasy medievalgenre...However, if you're looking for a highly original, completelyenthralling fantasy medieval movie, you might want to look elsewhere;as Grendel still has many of the components of a rather blotched,horribly general adventure. You know, the easily-distinguishable CGIfor the monsters, ridiculous battle scenes, and the times where youfind yourself mentally yelling at the characters one minute, andlaughing at their actions the next... All because of how poorly some ofthe fighting goes. We've all seen it, but we all still watch it.Now, as far as why I gave it a 6... Personally, I feel the ratingsystem on IMDb is screwed. Not because it's unfair, but because thereare so many different opinions on movies, that you really have to knowwhich opinions to follow if you're going to find the rating systemuseful. Without getting too far off-topic, what I mean by this is thefact that some movies you may enjoy, such as Conan the Barbarian, orThe Boondock Saints, get rather low ratings, while other movies likeThe Godfather rank so high. Or better yet, how The Matrix beatsEquilibrium...But that aside, If I were to rate this movie with a totally open mind,based on what some other movies on here have gotten, I would give it a6. It's better than your usual Sci-Fi Channel garbage, but not as goodas some fantasy medieval classics, like Conan the Barbarian. Certainlydon't expect something like The 13th Warrior here. Expect a very basic,but entertaining-at-points movie that's great to watch by yourself withsome popcorn on a lonely Saturday night. Of course, if you're thinkingabout watching this with a group of friends, you might be better offjust renting a movie from the local video store...
wong-ex
22 May 2012
This was NOT Grendel
I was expecting the movie based on Grendel, the book written by JohnGardner in the late 1970's. It was based on the Beowulf epic, but toldfrom the perspective of the monster. Whatever you may think of Gardner's book, a movie based on the Beowulfepic should not be entitled Grendel, when it doesn't say anything moreabout the monster beyond the few pathetic scenes in which the CGmonster is shown as nothing more than a modified Predator. On top of this, the writers should also be punished for screwing up theoriginal story so badly and contributing to the continued growingignorance of mass TV audiences throughout the US.Typical Hollywood to get this so wrong. Very disappointing and a complete waste of time.
jayce2279
22 May 2012
Too much CGI, not enough cult
I understand this movie was made on a very low budget but that is noexcuse for the monstrosity that is Grendel. Deathstalker, The Throne ofFire, Barbarian Queen, Conquest, the Invincible Barbarian were all doneon shoestring budgets and poor special effects yet they still managedto create cult classics by adding some scantily clad women warriors anda good sense of humor. The primitive costumes, dark castles andbeautiful Bulgarian landscape gave Grendel the potential to be a verygood low budget sword and sorcery film, but the makers completelyruined this opportunity by using extremely poor CGI effects andcolorless characters. Compare this film to Beowulf (1999). It may notbe Citizen Kane but it is a good example of how an entertaining lowbudget sci-fi/ adventure movie can be made by using credible specialeffects and appealing characters.
Peter Gareis
21 May 2012
Never Done Well
Good Folks, I stumbled on this film on evening while I was gradingpapers. My academic specialty is Anglo-Saxon literature, and I can saythat no one has ever done the genre the honor it deserves. TheIcelandic "Beowulf and Grendel" is the least offensive I have seen, andI did pay $3.00 for my copy. This Sci-Fi version ranks with theChristopher Lambert version. Yuck.What didn't I like? CGI for one. Amazingly bad. More importantly is thefaithfulness to the storyline, not to mention the stilted acting. I amused to both with all the versions I have seen.Delighted Regardless, Peter
Paul Haakonsen
19 May 2012
A good enough attempt at a classic tale...
This movie was, well, sort of interesting.First of all, I am from Denmark, and I am fairly sure that Denmark backin the day didn't look anything remotely like what was portrayed inthat movie. There are no ruins here now in these days that looksanything like the mead hall shown in this movie. It mostly looked likesomething from Greece with a hint of Roman inspiration.But nevertheless, the plot in the movie was fairly straight forward,and easy to follow. No major twists or surprises in the movie.The fight scenes in "Grendel" were painfully awkward to look at. Peoplewere slow, nowhere near dexterous, and it was so obvious they werefighting nothing, as to make room to put in the CGI created Grendel andthe Hag.Speaking of the CGI animations. I actually think that both Grendel andhis mom, the Hag, were adequately enough made. They looked alright andmoved alright. Though at points they looked fake. Especially in thescenes where Grendel rips out the guts of people. That looked likesomething made on a Commodore 64. It was horrible to look at.As for the cast, well most people were cast well enough. Ben Cross wasreally the one carrying the movie, in his role as king Rothgar. Thereis just something charismatic about him. Whenever I saw Beowulf (playedby Chris Bruno), I kept seeing Jason Statham instead, there were somesimilarities between them. And hand on heart, it would have been coolerto see Statham there instead.Now, for the props and items used in the movie. Well, I found the armorand weaponry to be alright. Maybe a bit inaccurate for history, butthis is a movie after all, so it didn't really matter. But what was upwith that super crossbow with the scope? Come on, I have never seenanyone be able to shoot that badly and miss 90% of the time while usinga scope for sighting. That was just ridiculous.In overall, this movie is not really too bad, just take it for anaction-adventure movie, don't read too much into the wholeGrendel/Beowulf tale. The movie provides fair enough entertainment fromstart till end, although you know the outcome of the movie right fromthe very start. It is actually a quite alright attempt to make a moviebased on that particular Grendel/Beowulf tale.
caspervovve
19 May 2012
Beowulf was a swede
Beowulf was from Sweden, not england. It's just that the poems comefrom england. that's it! Search on google if you don't believe me. Aseveryone prob knows by now, he was a viking.Why can't movie makers try and make a movie where the actuall characterspeaks in the "real" language, not just English/American. I just hopethat Mel Gibson get a grip of this (maybe not the coming 5 years, butstill) because he makes movies with the real language, i.e Apocalyptoand the passion of the Christ.But i suppose that it would be "to hard (:S)" for everyone totranslate, duh. LOL!
lemn-peal
17 May 2012
A crossbow? What?
I stopped five minutes in when Beowulf was given a double-shot,automatic crossbow with sights on it. Not only do crossbows not havetelescoping sights, but Beowulf beat Grendel in hand-to-hand combat.The terrible, wooden acting and eternal darkness that plagues allSci-Fi Original Movies didn't help either. Having only gotten a fewminutes in before I felt my bile rise and decided to watch I Love Lucyreruns instead, that's really about all I have to say. But, you mightas well just realize that it's a made-for-TV movie and skip it rightthere.A travesty.
fearfulofspiders
16 May 2012
Very Bad, But Had Potential...
First off, this is no where near as bad as some of the other trash theSci-Fi Channel has produced; that isn't to say that Grendel is a goodfilm, in fact, it is very bad, but it definitely had potential to be alot better. The flaws of the film come from character design,character, absurd additions to the story, the visual effects, themusic, and for the most part: the acting.When speaking of character design, I, of course, mean the way ourheroes and villains look. Beowulf and the other Danes seem likeridiculous Vikings, rather than warriors of brute strength -- thathelmet our main protagonist wears is just too silly. Grendel looks likethe Hulk but with strange tentacle-attachments to his elbows.The characters are very limited. Beowulf is same from beginning to end,however Finn -- a useless sidekick -- achieved some two-dimensionality,due thanks to his romantic subplot, and Unferth gets some notion aswell, as he becomes less conceited.Much like Finn, there are useless additions to this story to make itits own, while still holding to the source material. The crossbow thatis gifted to Beowulf is so ridiculous, I'm surprised the cast didn'twalk off the set. Besides additions, there's omissions, such as theunderlying themes of Christianity and Paganism, as well as theconsequences of lying.The special effects are mighty terrible. Grendel and his mother Hag arepoorly conceived, and as such, they're portrayal on screen is less thanbelievable.The music is overbearing, especially when a character dies.All in all, this is not Sci-Fi's worst film to date. No. It is actuallyone of the better films, though trash it still it is, it is good trash,making it a guilty pleasure at best. The only thing that works is thedialogue, which is still wooden here and there.I highly recommend you skip this film and watch Robert Zemeckis' takeon the ancient story of Beowulf, simply because this film (Grendel) isonly half the tale, and not the whole thing, which garners this movie athree-star review.
merity
16 May 2012
Wow
Wow Thor... you must have been a viking, knowing about the horns andhelmets... tell Oden and Loki I say hi. --- Now, on a more serious noteabout this movie, I really believe that the producers and the directorwere quite successful at portraying this epic poem using the media offilm. I think that the two horns on the helmets was quite a testamentto the duality of man. I also would have to say that the acting wasactually quite Shakespearian, much like Cuba Gooding Jr. in pearlharbor by Michael Bay. And my personal favorite part of thisMasterpiece of cinematic triumph was how Beowulf defeated Grendel withhis specially crafted sword of ultimate doom by cleaving the beastshead. I would have to disagree with dhickey-4 and give this epicportrayal of the journey of the human spirit a well deserved two vikinghorns up.
Abnegatus
16 May 2012
Wrong....in so many ways.
SciFi has been having some extremely bad luck making quality movieslately (such as Minotaur or Dog Soldiers). Grendel is supposed to bebased of the great epic Beowulf, however, it deviates so much (andoffers so little in comparison) that the advertisements on televisionmight as well have titled it 'some shitty Christopher Lambert movie'. Iwasn't expecting it to be as accurate as a full blown Hollywoodproduction, but I did however expect the 'artistic integrity' to notinterfere with the actual story (even if a little bit was changed tomake a two hour storyboard flow nicely in the allotted time slots).Did the director and producers have any idea about what they were doing(did any research go into this?). Obviously not, as one could tell fromthe massive horned helmets that Beowulf and his crew (save for mulletboy) are wearing. One major problem I have though was with the verylook of Grendel if Beowulf is supposed to wrestle him, shouldn't he nothave been sixteen feet tall and weigh 2 tons? Grendel's death segmentwas also lacking in every way  in my opinion the one in the epic wasactually better than the made up junk on the script; for example:Grendel is supposed to have his arm ripped out from the socket byBeowulf  not cut off at the forearm after he was set on fire by anexploding arrow from a crossbow that looks like it weighs 300lbs! AndGrendel's mother did they just combine her with the dragon at the endof the epic where he eventually dies when he succumbs to his wounds?And honestly, what the hell was with that mullet? If you want to see this movie because its connection to theepic .don't, as there really isn't one (other than character names).The only way I could recommend this film is if you liked the movieDruids (directed by Jacques Dorfmann)  although I don't recommendwatching either.
takseng
15 May 2012
Beowulf has gained nothing from Sci-fi Channels attentions
Where to begin? Anachronism? High tech cross bow with a scope in about500AD? Arrows with explosive charges in 500AD? A monster Grendel thatlooks like a robocop and obviously never interacts with any of theweapons fired or swung against him? The heart torn out of his victim'schest without any sense of contact? Possibly the blond who would fit inon a recent fashion show with her make-up and streaked hair? Theancient Danish court represented in Classical Greek style? The queenplayed by Marina Sirtis more savaged by her makeup artist than bymadness? The effects are way too weak to carry this story. There aresome stories that don't mind or even benefit from cheap effects, butthis Grendel isn't one of them. What about characters who seem to jump about in their attitudes withoutmotivation? A bravado idiot prince whose home has already been savagedmore than once by the monster Grendel seems to have less respect forthe danger he faces than Beowulf who was sent from afar from the landof the Geats to help the desperate Danes. In this it feels more like anold cowboy western than any kind of myth.Beowulf is an ancient tale from an era with almost no literarytradition and much of both its sentiment and its drama is obscure. Isuspect that any modern telling which doesn't make an intelligentattempt to penetrate the obscurity must fail. I didn't love the recent"Beowulf and Grendel" which sees Grendel essentially as human and seesHrothgar and his Danes as too arrogant and stupid to recognizeGrendel's attacks as well-justified vengeance, but I had to respect itsrevisionist position that Hrothgar's Danes were a bunch of macho thugswho never grasped, even after it was all over, that they had broughtthis nightmare on themselves, and therefore, the original story ofBeowulf, as it was written, was a misrepresentation of the real story.I think there's a more complex meaning to be understood than that, butthis "Grendel's" terrible secret that Grendel's attacks are tied toprevious human sacrifice doesn't really bring us closer to the shameexperienced by Hrothgar and the Danes. This Beowulf has little to recommend it as traditional myth or asmodern fantasy. I give it a 4: higher than it deserves, but alwayshopeful that a poor effort will draw attention by someone who is up totelling the story intelligently. In the meantime, Sci-Fi's movie-makingseems to be following the NASA policy that it's better to build lots ofprobes that fail than a few that succeed.
baronsambdi
15 May 2012
Better than Clash of the Titans (2010)
Well, first, I'll say I haven't read Beowulf's original poem, but myapproach to the movie was watching it as a movie, not as a loyaladaptation. Actually, I was zapping the channels, then I watched anscene from what appeared a sword & sorcery movie, then I grewinterested.Well, I gotta say this being a "low-budget-movie" is despicable, sinceit really caught my attention. It has very decent costuming, locations,music, good pacing, convincing acting, good scripts, dialogues,characters are congruent and good storytelling... I don't needhead-flashing CGI effects to enjoy this movie, because I look forwardto the stories, the characters, the messages. I prefer the sensitiveand intelligent way they told this tale than stupid movies like therecent version of Clash of the Titans, that only care about specialeffects and the acting, script and dialogues are totally idiot.Well, I give this movie a good review, since I found on it good drama,great acting and realistic storytelling. Congrats to all peopleinvolved on it, you really got my respects =D
quickdiversion
13 May 2012
Hail, Fernandez!!!
UNBELIEVABLE!!! This movie rocked me so hard my perfect, pearly whiteteeth nearly shattered from the force of it! Monsters, vikings,explosions, heroes, romance, intrigue! Grendel has it all, with plentyto spare. I've rad some of the other comments here about the terribleacting and all I can say is WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!? Ifyou don't think Chris Bruno is Oscar-worthy in this roll, you seriouslyneed to get your head out of the sand. I mean, seriously.And don't get me started on Marina Sirtis. When I heard she was inthis, I thought I might not recognize her without her trademarkcleavage, and boy was I right! If there ever was an actor or actressthat managed to break free of Star Trek's grasp, it is surely her. Icouldn't tear my eyes away from the screen every second she was on.TEARING IT UP, MARINA! Director Nick Lyon definitely deserves somerecognition for his amazing visual choices in this film. Given theSci-Fi channel budget, the effects were literally jaw-dropping. Iseriously had to cringe and look away when Grendel would rip people'sinsides out. And I'm no stranger to gory movies. It was just thatscary-looking.Screenwriter Ron Fernandez is probably the key to what made this filmso great. For those of you who've never seen his work "L.A.mentations,"you need to. It's brilliant, indeed, but not so brilliant as Grendel.I'm still geeking out about what I've dubbed the "crossbazooka!" Thatthing was amazing! And such a simple, believable way to conceive aweapon of modern power using ancient technology. Of course Beowulfwould fight Grendel with a missile launcher! Why wouldn't he! If onlyhe had known such things existed, surely the medieval Christian monkwho transcribed and adapted the ancient Beowulf epic for Christianaudiences would have written it in himself.If Ron Fernandez were here right now, I would force him into my car,take him to my house, chain him to my radiator, and make him regale mewith such tales as this for the rest of my life. Unbelievable.Hail, Fernandez! (and Mr. Fernandez, if you're reading this, I'm justkidding. I would never kidnap a grown man.)
englander_13
12 May 2012
Sci-Fi channel movies are awful
I work at a Blockbuster store and every week we have movies that comein with just a few copies, these are the kind of movies that the Sci-Fichannel shows. The kind of movie that nobody ever wants, and only thatidiots rent, when they bring it back I ask them "was it any good?",they say "no we turned it off after 15 minutes!" Movies with terriblecomputer generated, super imposed monsters and such like, veryunappealing.This is the same type of movie that Grendel is, and absolute waste oftime, if you want a reasonably (and only reasonably) good Beowulf basedmovie then try Beowulf & Grendel , starring Gerard Butler, who is alsostarring in the eagerly anticipated 300, as King Leonidas of Sparta.Plus, later this year we have another Beowulf movie, with a starstudded cast ranging from Anthony Hopkins and Brendan Gleeson, toAngelina Jolie and John Malkovich.But don't let that get your hopes up like we all did with Eragon, or weare all in for another big disappointment.And regarding rentals, here is my rule of thumb: If there is only oneor two copies, don't rent it because its a load of crap.( This is true99.9% of the time, usually not true if the title is foreign, or adocumentary.)
cpage-5
12 May 2012
Bummer
For such a great classic tale, the setting (location), Grendel wasdisappointing. As a writer, I blame the script which completely lackeddramatic tension. The rubric of the club story is useful and would haveprovided a new take on the literary classic. For some weird reason thatrubric was dropped early on. To know this was shot in 21 days says tome, "rushed" and it unfortunately shows. Now we'll have to wait for theHollywood version on the big screen. I word on FX, I can toleratereally crappy CGI but the script has to rock and this one was just tooslow, spartan and lacking in drama. I'd blame it on the actors but...since I know writing more than acting, I'll pick on my colleague.
jkoster-2
11 May 2012
Not as bad as some think
I actually watched this movie twice and enjoyed it.Why do we read Beowulf in school? As an English teacher (grades 6-12),I tell students it's because it's one of the earliest surviving piecesof English literature. It also helps highlight elements of a story, andcan help students understand the history of the period. Okay, thismovie isn't the best adaptation, doesn't follow the line of the storyas close as some could wish, and has obvious flaws, but it could be auseful teaching tool. And I don't mean for your college Lit/Film class.In today's secondary school classrooms, there are many students whosimply won't read. They don't see the value in it, and this type offilm is one way to make literature palatable. And there really isn'tanything in it that would require me to send home permission slipsbefore showing it in the classroom. I wish this had been around when Iwas in high school--I might have enjoyed Beowulf 30 years ago, insteadof having to teach it first in order to see its merits.As for the quality problems others have mentioned: If SciFi has tocancel Stargate SG-1 because they can't afford the actors' salaries,then it's going to be pretty obvious that their own productions aren'tgoing to be big-budget forays into CGI and other such niceties.
garrett-62
11 May 2012
Public Service Announcement
I watched Grendel the other night and am compelled to put together aPublic Service Announcement.Grendel is another version of Beowulf, the thousand-year-oldAnglo-Saxon epic poem. The SciFi channel has a growing catalog ofinoffensive and uninteresting movies, and the previews promised aninauthentic low-budget mini-epic, but this one refused to let me switchchannels. It was staggeringly, overwhelmingly, bad. I watched infascination and horror at the train wreck you couldn't tear your eyesaway from. I reached for a notepad and managed to capture part of whatI was seeing. The following may contain spoilers or might just saveyour sanity. You've been warned.- Just to get it over with, Beowulf's warriors wore horned helmets.Trivial issue compared to what came after. It also appears that thehelmets were in a bin and handed to whichever actor wandered by next.Fit, appearance and function were apparently irrelevant.- Marina Sirtis had obviously been blackmailed into doing the movie bythe Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey circus. She managed to avoid ared rubber nose, but the clowns had already done the rest of hermakeup.- Ben Cross pretended not to be embarrassed as the king. His character,Hrothgar, must have become king of the Danes only minutes before thefilm opened and hadn't had a chance to get the crown resized to fit himyet.- To facilitate the actors' return to their day jobs waiting tables,none were required to change their hairstyles at all. The variety ofhair included cornrows, sideburns, buzz cuts and a mullet and at leastserved to distract from the dialog. To prove it was a multi-nationalcast, all were encouraged to retain whatever accent they chose.- As is typical with this type of movie (at least since Mad Max),leather armor was a requirement. In this case it was odd-shaped,ill-fitting and brand-new.- The female love interest, Ingrid, played by Alexis Peters, followed along-standing tradition of hotties who should be watched with thevolume turned completely down.- The unintended focus of the movie was a repeating, compound crossbowwith exploding bolts. It never needed to be loaded and even had arecoil when fired. It managed to shred the laws of physics, theintegrity of the original legend, historical fact and plot suspense allby itself.- Hrothgar's palace, Heorot, rather than being a Norse long hall,apparently was designed and constructed by artisans who sank withAtlantis.- Beowulf arrived at the Danes' homeland in a two-masted stern-castledship that originally was part of a set, the other two being the SantaMaria and the Pinta.- Prince Unferth observed Beowulf's ship's approach using a telescope.Before you could recover from that astounding innovation, you got tosee the ship from his point of view. Judging from the angle, the princewas in an aircraft of some sort.- Fun fact 1: In Bulgaria, fire (as from a fireplace) creates lightwithout heat. This explains why you could see the actors' breathwhether indoors or out.- Fun fact 2: Dark Age dancing in Denmark looks like slow dances I wentto in the 8th grade.- Fun fact 3: You, too, can make a catapult with a timed-releaseair-burst explosive. But, don't expect it to actually harm anything.Incidentally, Beowulf was apparently a veteran of World War II, yelling"Incoming!" to shred any remaining suspension of disbelief.- Grendel was so upset and always in a snit because as a completely CGIcreation he couldn't leave footprints. Even in snow.- Grendel's mom ("Hag") was in a foul mood because she was a singlemother and junior hadn't inherited her wings. Recessive gene, Isuppose. By the way, we can now make an educated guess that Grendel'spop was probably Swamp Thing.- Grendel and mom chose to randomly kill, fly away with or drag awaytheir prey based only on a close reading of the next few pages of thescript.- Fun medical fact: Being slammed by a mythical beast hard enough to bethrown fifty feet against stone causes slight facial scratches thatdon't bleed much.- The sword of legend Beowulf used to dispatch the Hag was as long ashe was tall and would have contained enough steel to put a second deckon the Golden Gate Bridge. Luckily the wobbling dispelled any concernsover its weight.- Best line of the movie: Prince Unferth had just been impaled by Hagand spit a quart of blood roughly six feet. Princess Ingrid cradled himgently and said, "You're going to be okay, my prince." So much for thatjob at the triage clinic.I feel better now.
witchsmeller-1
10 May 2012
what i thought might be a halfway decent movie.....
turned out to be another failed attempt by the laughable sci-fichannel. i am not sure who wrote the script, and interpreted the poem,but i am sure it was by some 17 year old teen who thought it would beawesome to a have a scoped crossbow in the movie. AAAAAAAH! when i sawthat part, I lost all hope. Then...they set off for heorot in a whatlooks to be the ship that Christopher Columbus sailed in! when theyreach Heorot, (which is supposed to be a Norse mead hall) the sci-figroup of idiots decided to make heorot look like a big stone castle.when i saw that part.. i wanted to scream. i really wanted this movieto be good, but sci-fi has yet to produce a good movie, so i don't knowwhy i got my hopes up. Oh..and Grendel and his mother, are stupid also.(this comment is off topic about "Grendel")If anyone from the sci-fichannel is reading this..here is some good advice. NOT EVERY MOVIE YOUMAKE HAS TO BE ABOUT A BIG MONSTER THAT CAN RIP PEOPLE IN HALF, THATSNOT WHAT SCIENCE FICTION IS ABOUT! AND ALSO, STOP CASTING LOW-GRADEACTORS LIKE STEPHEN BALDWIN TO BE IN YOUR FILMS! ITS NOT HELPING THEMOVIE, BUT MAKING IT WORSE!!!
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